A Mysterious Englishman takes the wrong turn, winds up in Balona, CA 95232. Is Mr. Simon Burberry an agent of MI-6 pursued by assassins? or an ordinary ex-butler? or could he be not only a very stylish murderer but also something else, as well?

ISBN 9780976547990 5.5 X 8.5 in., 240pp. Perfectbound: $17. list For you: $10 plus shipping, $3 per item Purchase Order?

Commander Simon Burberry (or is it Mr. Silas Blade?) must take mysterious green capsules to reduce the trembling that besets him at odd moments. He is a mystery-- handsome, suave, speaks with a noble accent, is a fine woodworker and fabricator of wonderful, if large, puzzleboxes, but he appears to have people on his trail. Will Joseph Oliver Kuhl and Cousin Zachary Burnross unmask the stranger as a criminal, or will they become allies of an innocent Mr. Burberry on a dangerous quest?

CLICK to hear Zack's favorite Limp Bizkit warning.

Here is a passage from Serving Humanity. (Not entirely teen humor.) Mr. Burberry and landlady Mother Crinkle have been enjoying their morning coffee when the doorbell rings. Burberry is shocked at what he sees standing at the door:

What should my eyes behold but Madog, standing there arguing with Mother Crinkle.
   "There's nobody by that name here," she is repeating, as if reciting a mantra, "so you just get on your way and leave him alone." The bullying swine looks over Mother Crinkle's shoulder and spies me in my blue dressing gown and wearing my now-usual brown-and-black.
   "Mr. Blade, sor." he shouts. There is no trace of his usual flippancy. I cannot imagine how he can recognize me. "Oh, sor. I've found you at last." To Mother Crinkle, he observes, "That there's Mr. Blade. It's the man himself I been looking for." Remarkably, Madog sounds reasonable, even courteous, even unctuous.
   Mother Crinkle reaches into the hall closet next to the front door. She holds something at her side for a moment. "My. Look at that." She stretches her neck so as to seem to peer beyond Madog at something in the street.
   The fellow naturally turns to see the object of her attention and, as he does, Mother Crinkle brings forth her baseball bat and fetches Madog a mighty blow to his crown. He falls heavily into the shrubbery at the side of the porch.
   The hit would have put legendary batsman Joe Montana to shame.
   "A sex fiend if I ever saw one, after a poor old woman, too." Mother Crinkle clucks several times, closes the door, and leans her bat behind the door, perhaps in anticipation of an imminent revival of the fiend.

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First Chapter from Serving Humanity

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The music for this page of BalonaBooks is "Take a Look Around" by the famous group Limp Bizkit (2002)