A One-Page Periodic Newsletter for Readers of BalonaBooks: Fans, Supporters, Detractors, Critics

Here is a summary of our newest BalonaBook (by Jon Riis), on the market in June 2010: "Magical realism" (fantasy) in which small-town residents are targets of perinatural beings in a scheme that grants phony university diplomas in exchange for a vital human fluid that the aliens define as "life experience."

Zachary Burnross, freshman at Chaud County Community College, narrates this tale, which is is an account of a sort of horror that affects Balonans who fall for the pitch of an attractive giant who wears a blue bodysuit, a red cape, and red suede boots. Sound familiar? He's not Superman, but he does a close imitation of the Man of Steel. All he wants in exchange for a university diploma without any work at all is some of your vital fluid. We won't go into that right now!

Here's a sample from the book. Disguised as a window-washer, Zack Burnross has been watching the process of getting a diploma from the University of Balona. It has been an alarming experience, and now Zack is trying to get out of the university "office" as fast as he can:

      Starting to move toward me, Not-Cod, now with the short black stick in his hand, dropped the dark glasses back over his eyes and said, "Well, hold on, kid. Just a minute. We're going to award you a nice university degree for your service."
      "Later, thanks," I replied, and got out of there fast, leaving my squeegee but keeping my bucket in hand, slopping some water on the floor in my haste to leave. Not-Cod failed to follow me out the door.
      I took a close look at Mr. D. H. Carp before he turned and staggered slowly up Front Street. He was definitely shorter and skinnier. His trouser cuffs dragged the ground.
      He had new deep wrinkles, vertical ones, all over his face from his chin on up. And his head was a lot more wrinkly than before and seemed smaller now, like it had been newly shrunk.
      Mr. D. H. Carp gave the same impression that Mr. Ned Chaud, University of Balona Graduate Number One, gave me when I helped him on Front Street a few days ago: Shrunken and shriveled.
      Whatever that pale extracted fluid was, Xantac and Not-Cod had taken more than a few life experiences out of Mr. D. H. Carp.
      I saw Junior Trilbend and his sidekick Bobby R. Langsam coming toward me on the other side of the street.
      Way down Front Street across from Mr. D. H. Carp’s Groceries and Sundries I could see what must have been the authentic Constable Cod Gosling, still seated on his bench, still with one hand delving into his bag of Karmelkorn Krunch.
      Junior Trilbend and Bobby R. Langsam crossed the street and stopped in front of me. Junior flexed his pecs. "We could use some beer money from you, kid, but we got to pick up our guns and our university degrees right now, so we'll see you later and have us a beer together." He sneered a smirk at me, flicked his cigaret into the gutter.
      "Hey, guys," I said to the disappearing candidates, "good luck!"

"So I need a haircut. Well, go ahead and use the pic anyway," says one of BalonaBooks' fine editors. If a book wasn't edited by Joaquin or Amelia or Chris or Jonathan, it was surely edited by this fellow, Jon Riis.
Jon's latest edits are for Joaquin Peralta's immensely popular An almost Private Eye and for Bandits!, and for Emma Snow.

But our big NEWS is that Jon has completed his first work of fiction for BalonaBooks. It is edited by Joaquin Peralta. The cover is by Barbara Hodge. The title is Something for Nothing and we are not going to show the cover yet, as the book won't be on the market until June 2010. However, over on the left here is a brief description of the plot and an extract from the book, just to whet your appetite.

For historians, see

Newsletter #1

Newsletter #2

Newsletter #3

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