Community college criminal justice freshman Joseph Oliver Kuhl finally acquires a fine automobile of his own, "The Yellow Peril." Joe organizes fellow students and relatives to bring to justice Balona's "Starfighter," the individual who has been systematically burning down the town's central business district. Joe's detecting efforts are triumphant, but because of the surprising involvement of a family member, Joe is unable to reveal the culprit and accept credit for solving the crimes. Joe offers this term paper to the faculty and the public as a literary effort, without footnotes.

Teachers, Librarians, Parents, Grandparents:
The score on our SMUTSCALE INDEX [0--10]
for Focusing the Private Eye is about a "1" (for Patella's suggesting some hormonal stuff).

CLICK to hear some sneaky Tschaikovsky, Joseph Kuhl's second-favorite composer.

Here is part of a scene from Focusing the Private Eye. Joseph Kuhl is negotiating with Mr. Sidney Weiner for Mr. Weiner's wreck of a car, a vehicle Joe has plans for:

     Mr. Weiner's got his shoe off and is scratching the athlete's foot between his toes. I give him a little more room for that activity. He's also sipping on his jelly jar. The smell around him is unusual, kind of like a cross between strawberry Jell-O, gasoline, and foot.
     I go, “I was just wondering....” I pause and take a pull on my Hires. I'm playing it suave here.
     “I guess you was wondering how much it would take to wrestle that beautiful yellow car away from me.”
     “I was thinking that. Yeh.” At this point I don't mention that I am aware the car has got graffiti painted all over it.
     “It's in beautiful shape, irregardless of what people may think who just drive by and glance at it. Beautiful shape. It's just that it will take some replacement parts to make it perfect and, well, you know, actually, uh, mobile....”