Balona Residents Search |
| ISBN 0-7414-0578-4 5.5 x 8.5 in., 176 pp. Perfectbound: $13.95 Flesch Reading Ease: 77.1 Flesch-Kincaid Level: 5.8 |
Nimitz MacArthur Chaud has a romance-tinged life even before he becomes a Marine Corps hero and Gussie Poone's second-youngest husband. Balona High School history teacher and passionate painter Mr. Elvis P. Drumhandler may or may not be scheduled for a bit of romance with Mrs. Sidney Weiner (who may not actually be Mrs. Weiner). Francie June Furbeloe, recovering from the loss of several human-type Significant Others as well as her job, cat, and hotel suite, encounters just in time a tall lovely man with a big nose and a cat of his own. Kenny and Peg Fring more or less enjoy Mr. Drumhandler's new painting. Mr. Drumhandler finally arrives as a dinner guest at the residence of the Kenworth Kuhls. Bigoted Alma (ex-Mrs. Peterbilt) Kuhl discovers that falling back into teaching is neither as easy nor as simple as she's assumed it would be.
Readers:
The score on our SMUTSCALE INDEX [0--10] 
for A Cuisine of Leftovers is about a "4" (resulting not only from hinting about sex, but from a couple of S-words, suggestive phrases, and an actual shocking F-word! Apologies to Holden Caulfield.
In the following excerpt, Nim Chaud, Kenworth Kuhl, and Sammy Joe Sly are high school students in the very early 1960s. They are at lunch, discussing Sammy Joe's possible conquest of Bapsie Chaud (who later becomes Bapsie Kuhl):
At lunch the Monday after Sadie Hawkins, Sammy Joe Sly reported that the dance had been a lot of fun but that he and his date, Bapsie Chaud, didn't stay the whole time because Bapsie wanted to go out to the car and go "all the way." She kept whispering sex things in his ear while they danced, he said.
"Yeah, she was just all over me," he said to Kenworth Kuhl and Nim.
"How come you went with her in the first place, since she's only a freshman and taller than you, too?" inquired Kenworth.
"Well, she ast, and, well, you know."
"Well, did she go 'all the way' like she said?"
"Nah, she just talked about it and finally got mad and left me to walk home." Sammy Joe swallowed and popped a hard-boiled egg in his mouth, a whole egg. "Maybe throwing up in the parking lot had something to do with it." Sammy Joe chewed with his mouth open. He took a jolt from his little bottle of milk to wash down the egg.
"She threw up in the parking lot?" said Kenworth. "Yeah, I guess that would turn a guy off all right."
Sammy Joe took a big bite out of his tuna sandwich. "Nah, I was the one threw up." He sniffed and wiped his nose on a piece of sandwich paper, a first for Sammy Joe, since he usually used his shirtsleeve for that purpose. "She give me some Southern Comfort she had in this flask she had hid under her skirt, and I drunk quite a bit all at once, you know?" Another big bite. "Must've been a bad batch of Southern Comfort, you know? So then I heaved it all up right away, getting into her dad's car.
For more Cuisine, click to read about a Balonan's winning experience: A'nty Pring's Sweepstakes
| CRITICS SAY |
To order A Cuisine of Leftovers, call direct TOLL FREE: 1-877-BUY BOOK
If you are at all concerned about Internet security, USE THE PHONE! ----OR
CLICK LOGO TO CONNECT ON-LINE-SECURE WITH PRINTER.
